Merlin's Nightmare

2009-10-25T21:04:54Z

Title: Merlin's Nightmare
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~2634
Warning/Spoilers: Spoilers for episode 01.13 "Le Morte d'Arthur"
Summary: Arthur was awoken by tossing and turning next to him in bed.
Notes: I know that Arthur seems a little OOC, but just remember how much he has changed for and because of Merlin. Plus, this is how the Arthur in my head sounded, so I am just rolling with it. I have read a few fics where Arthur had nightmares and Merlin was there to comfort him, and this is the other way around.
Disclaimer: I, sadly, don't earn Merlin, Arthur, or any of the other characters or places. I can dream, though.

Arthur was awoken by tossing and turning next to him in bed. He quickly looked over to where Merlin lay, and was surprised that the man who usually slept like a rock was having such a disturbance. He could tell by the pained expressions on Merlin's face and the tortured murmurs that it was not a pleasant dream. He wrapped around Merlin and whispered in his ear.

"Merlin, wake up. Everything is well," he consoled. It took almost a full minute for Merlin to be coaxed our of his excruciating nightmare. The first thing he did upon waking was put his hand over Arthur's heart and close his eyes, as if anchoring himself to Arthur and this world. Peace came over the previously sorrowful expression on his face. His eyes flicked momentarily to Arthur's shoulder, but Arthur thought nothing of it. Arthur just looked into Merlin's face, waiting for an indications of what to do. He wasn't sure if he should make Merlin relive whatever he had just experienced of if he should assure him that everything was fine. He opted for neither at the moment and pressed a tender kiss to Merlin's lips.

"I'm sorry for waking you," Merlin mumbled.

The End.

"Did you find the kiss that disagreeable that you would have rather stayed where you were?" Arthur joked, bringing up the subject he had been divided on seconds before. Merlin shook his head.

"I would never rather be anywhere but here," he said.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Arthur asked. Merlin looked up at him with a somewhat guarded expression.

"What did you hear?" he asked. He was being more evasive than he had been in months, since he had admitted to Arthur that he was a sorcerer.

"You sounded and looked like you were in pain. You kept saying 'no.' You do not have to speak of it, if you wish not to," Arthur said. He didn't want Merlin to feel as thought he was being questioned, he was just genuinely concerned. Merlin rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and sighed.

"It is something that I should not even be thinking about. There is no point in troubling you with a thing that is in the past and deserves not even an idle thought." Arthur was still holding him to his chest and had Merlin's head right over his heart with own chin resting on top of it.

"If it troubles you, then it troubles me. I will not order you to tell me, but I do believe it would be better if you talked about it."

"You probably do not want to hear about it. It was something that happened a year ago, anyway." Arthur tried to rack his brain for what had happened a year ago. It would have been after the events in the labyrinth. What had happened that made Merlin, one of the most powerful sorcerers to ever be known, have nightmares?

"As I have said already, if it troubles you, of course I want to hear about it."

"It is something that I have not spoken to you about, yet. I'm not sure you would want to talk about it now. You have training in the morning and you need to rest," Merlin said. Arthur knew what he was trying to do, and it certainly wasn't going to work.

"Merlin, by now you have piqued my curiosity and I will never be able to go back to sleep until I find out what it is."

"I do not want you to be scared of me," Merlin whispered so low that Arthur had to strain to hear him, even in the quiet room.

"Merlin, whatever you say will not make me scared of you. I promise you that."

"Today was the one year anniversary of when you woke up from the Questing Beast," Merlin said.

"Are you having nightmares about me being attacked? You need not worry, I have you as a protector not and you need not hide from me anymore.

"Arthur, you know that a bite from the Questing Beast is supposed to be fatal," Merlin said, and Arthur nodded in response. "There is a reason that you survived, and it was one of the darkest times in my life. Not that you had survived, of course, that was what it had all been about, and it was definitely what I wanted and still want. Arthur, as I have told you before, I would lay down my life for you within a heartbeat. I know that because I have, or at least, I tried. You were bitten and as soon as I found out what it was, I started trying to do anything that I could to save you. Gaius said it was only a matter of time, and that there was nothing that I could do. Being what I am, I thought that there had to be something, and I was willing to give up everything. I got some advice from a less-than-completely-helpful creature and was told to go to a place called the Isle of the Blessed. It was the home of the Old Religion. I went and Nimueh was there, she was the priestess."

Arthur remembered the little bits he had learned about Nimueh. He knew that she was responsible for a lot of the attacks on him and Camelot, but he didn't know much more. He remembered Merlin saying, in passing at one point, that he wouldn't ever need to worry about her again. He had started to ask, but one glance at the haunted look that had been in Merlin's eyes had silenced him immediately. Now, it appeared, he would find out more about this mysterious evil sorceress. Then, Merlin said the words he hadn't expected to hear.

"I offered to give up my life for yours," he said.

"What?" Arthur asked, confused and slightly worried.

"There is a balance of life and death, and it says that for a life to be saved, another must be lost. I was willing to give up my life to save yours. Nimueh gave me a horn of water from the Cup of Life, and she said that if you drank it, you would recover. I took it without a second thought, brought it back to Camelot, and Gaius gave it to you. You woke, your shoulder hurting, but healthy. I saw that you were safe, and expected to die that night. I couldn't believe the next morning when I woke, I was actually happy," Merlin said, somewhat disgusted at himself for his emotions at the time, even if he didn't know what had happened. "Then, I walked into Gaius's room, and my mother was lying on the floor, sick and unconscious. The creature had failed to mention to me that it was at their discretion as to who died in the place. He said that I had to be there to protect you, and that I had said I would give anything."

Arthur was staring intently at Merlin's face. He couldn't imagine the turmoil he must have been going through. His mother was all that Merlin had grown up with. Arthur could certainly see himself giving up his life for another that he loved, that would hardly be a decision. But what would he do if he woke to find his father dead in his place, when he was the one who had bargained? How could Merlin have dealt with that? Arthur was not near as close to his father as Merlin was to his mother. And how were Hunith, Merlin, and Arthur still alive? Merlin's face portrayed a myriad of emotions: betrayal, hatred, and pain.

"I tried to see if there was anything that could be done for her, but there wasn't. I was going to leave the next morning to go back to the Isle of the Blessed and try to rectify everything, and give up the life that I had offered - mine. I went to speak to you that night."

"You were saying goodbye," Arthur said, more of a statement than a question. Merlin nodded. Both stayed silent for a moment, and a moment was all it took for Arthur's head to swirl with almost as many questions that he had had right after he found out Merlin was a sorcerer.

"I woke the next morning and Gaius was gone, he had left me a note. He was going to take my place. I had Gwen to take care of my mother and I left after him. I'm not sure exactly what I thought I could do, I guess I meant to go and stop him, and offer myself like I had been going to already. I went as fast as I could. I got there right as Nimueh was completing it."

Arthur knew what "it" was by the look on Merlin's face: he had watched Gaius die before he could save him. Arthur could only guess what was coming next. From what he understood, there was only one possible answer, but how had Merlin managed to accomplish it? Arthur knew Merlin was powerful: he had saw him take down a manticore with his hand alone. Just how far did that power extend. He knew that Nimueh had managed to cause so much disaster, and she wasn't in Camelot for most of it.

"Are you sure that you want to hear the rest?" Merlin asked quietly after a while of silence.

"Yes, Merlin," Arthur said, drawing out his name in a way that silently added 'you idiot,' at the end. "And if you keep stopping, I might as well just order you to tell me for your own good."

"You could at least acknowledge that there is a credible reason for me to have a difficulty saying this," Merlin said, irritated. Arthur knew that would be the response, which was exactly why he had said it. If he was able to get Merlin to focus on something else, then he could get the story out of Merlin faster, and know what he needed to say.

"I have acknowledged it, since you woke up! I still do not know what makes it so difficult, you have not told me. I am just trying to get you to talk a little faster." He was tempted to add "some of us have training tomorrow," but he feared that it might make Merlin more reluctant to tell him.

"Fine, just shut up. Yes, I know, I can't talk to you like that, Sire. Moving on, I got there right as she was finishing it. She said that it was what he had wanted, which I already knew from his letter, and said he knew the price. She told me that I should join her, she said..." Merlin trailed off again, unsure how to phrase the next part. "We had words, I refused to join her, and I was so mad that I just blindly threw a spell at her. She absorbed it, she didn't even have to block it. Then, she conjured some balls of fire, and threw them at me. She missed the first time. The second time she hit me in the chest."

Arthur ran his hand over the faint circle on Merlin's chest. Merlin nodded, silently saying yes, right there. Arthur had noticed the scar before, but when asked about it, Merlin would shrug the question off and distract him. Arthur never forgot, he just knew that Merlin did not want to talk about it, for some reason. Arthur respected that, even if it did bother him that Merlin wouldn't tell him how he received it, and especially since Arthur wanted to kill whatever it was that had harmed him.

"She hit you with a ball of fire, in the chest, and you are still alive?" Arthur asked, he had to. He knew the next part would be the most difficult, and he thought that it might be easier if Merlin was answering questions instead of having to come up with the words on his own.

"Yes, it knocked me back, she thought I was dead. Then, I-I-I got up and I sort of hit her with lightning, " Merlin said.

"Sort of hit her with lightning?" Arthur asked, incredulously.

"Well, yeah. I channeled a storm and sent the lightning bolts at her," Merlin said quietly. Arthur saw him nervously swallow. He must be scared that Arthur would hate him because he killed someone. Only Merlin would leave out everything that she had done.

"So, what happened when she was hit with the lightning?"

"She exploded." Arthur tightened his hold on Merlin. He hadn't known then that Merlin was so close to being gone from him forever, he couldn't bear the thought of it happening.

"So you are upset about killing her?" Arthur asked.

"Not really, she deserved to die. She had done so many things, she had caused the illness that almost had Gwen executed for sorcery, and she was the one who put the poisoned chalice for you and then told me about it. I don't regret that she is dead. I just hate that I killed. It doesn't matter that it was her, it is just the fact that I killed someone. I mean, I have killed beasts before, and I made the chandelier break and kill Lady Helen, and then there was the whole thing with Sophia and her father, but they weren't human. At the Isle of the Blessed, I actually killed her, with power from my own body."

"It is not like you had a choice, Merlin, she was trying to kill you. I know that it is hard, and it isn't just the first time, either. You must know that you had a good reason to do it. She had killed Gaius, and tried to kill your mother. I am sure, from the things that you have told me, that she had killed others, too. You have no reason to let her haunt your dreams." Merlin nodded. He still looked troubled, though. "What else is it that is bothering you? Is there more to the story?"

"No, after that, Gaius woke up and we traveled back to Camelot. I just keep seeing that sneer, her dark hair, those dark blue eyes, so different from yours. She had a voice that could make you believe what she wanted, it would sound perfectly sweet as it always was, even if she was saying the most evil things."

"Wait. She had dark hair, dark blue eyes, and an insanely sweet voice?" Arthur asked, remembering someone who fit that description.

"Yes, and her hair was long. Why?"

"I think that I met her," Arthur said, eyes wide.

"She was here with Bayard, as a servant. She was the one who asked me out of the room."

"No, but it was around the same time. When I went to get the mortaeus flower for you there was a woman. She was outside the cave, and she was crying. She looked like she had been attacked. I was helping her, and then she took me into the cave, and said she would help me. She left my hanging there, on the ledge, with the giant spiders coming after me. I wouldn't have gotten the flower, let alone got out alive, if that blue orb hadn't helped me," Arthur said. "The one that you created, while unconscious, here in Camelot."

"This news, about my powers, it does not worry you or scare you?"

"Merlin, you could not scare me if you tried," Arthur said, in an attempt at humor. "You pledged your magic to me, Merlin, and that is all the affirmation that I need. I do not need a public oath, you simply telling me is enough."

They both knew that it was the truth.

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Merlin's Nightmare